This little guy, now 21/2, has been in our hearts since summer of 2010 when we heard from mom that she was having him and needed to find a home for him. We cried, "yes! We will adopt him!" and began the proceedings, so excited at the thought of this new child in our family.
During the coming weeks, she asked that we bring Jonah for a visit. I did and it didn't go well. Jonah was not quite 2, not feeling great that day, it was a hot and sticky August day and the surroundings were less than ideal. He wanted me and only me to be anywhere near him. This was too hard for mom to see and experience with the thought looming of "losing another" of her kids. She decided to try to parent and a sweet older lady in her life said she would help. Other family members begged us to hold on and keep hoping because they all felt it was the wrong decision and that she'd come to realize that. Of course, we did hold on hope.
This kind woman worked hard to help mom get some stability in her life but it never really took. Over the coming months, we would get a photo text from time to time that would make my heart stop...and then ache. But it looked, at first, like things were going ok and we were pleased that she was successfully parenting.
We knew things took a less-than-ideal turn about a year ago but didn't hear anything from mom. Around Jonah's birthday we did hear that she may need help but it turned out she didn't need OUR help. We truly expected that to be the last we spoke to her in a long time.
So, you could have knocked me over...except I was driving so I guess that would be roll me over....when my phone rang last week asking if the offer still stood for us to take Little J. We said yes and then heard...crickets...only crickets...for a week. We took it as a reminder from the Lord to pray for Little J always and entrusted him to Jesus.
Late Wednesday, the next call came. She needed someone to care for him and she wanted it to be us. The sweet lady who had first helped her keep Little J now realized she needed to help mom make this next and very hard plan. She asked how soon we could be there. We jumped!
Thursday morning, calls to lawyers asking how to do something like this legally because mom is not yet ready to sign parental revoking consents, calls to mom, calls to and from sweet lady...it was beyond imagining how smoothly the Lord seemed to be working this out. I was hesitant and a bit apprehensive. What will the future bring, I fretted. How long will we have him? What if, what if, what if? What if he is perfect in our family?
The Lord made the path straight. Mom was fully ready to sign and notarize, with her mom and grandma as witnesses, the custody affidavit. This gives us protection and the right to care for him but she can revoke it at any time. We met at a sweet little park and saw Little J for the first time (aside from pics). Here he was...the guy we've prayed for and wished had come from birth!
The time was not nearly as awkward as I feared. We all fell in with each other well - and its been almost 3 years since we last saw mom. Sweet Lady was there to meet us too.
The sweetest thing was Jonah's reaction. He, being only 4 1/2 didn't have a comprehension ahead of time that he had a particular connection to Little J. He couldn't stop looking at him - I mean just staring at him. Laughing all the while. They ran off to play like they'd known each other forever. There was a carousel at this park and as Jonah and Little J sat side by side on their horses with me in the middle, I said, "Jonah, do you think he looks a little like you?" and he said, "No, he looks ALL like me!" with such a proud smile.
We all agreed to share dinner together and Little J rode with us so we could get to know him. Jonah couldn't stop touching him and comparing hands, feet, skin. Little J kept looking for his mama in the car ahead but it was quite distracted with the near smothering of attention and affection from 3 boisterous boys.
The hard part came when we packed his belongings into our van after dinner. We cried and hugged and mom settled him into his car seat. He did amazingly well, again with the distracting help of 3 new big brothers. Jonah, I'm so proud of him, he spent this strange and wonderful day in his life being hugged and squeezed by people he doesn't know but who love him and wanted to love ON him...and he let them (which isn't something he usually does). He played with two other siblings he had never met who were also there. He knew something was unique here. Of that I'm certain. He can't really articulate that but maybe one day he will.
Little J has a "schedule" that doesn't quite match ours. So, at 12:30 am he and I had a rousing game of patty cake over a yogurt snack. This was sweet for me because he had not taken to me yet. Beautifully, he took to Joe within seconds of meeting him. And all he has wanted was Joe to hold him. So, late-night patty cake with my new Little J was the sweetest way to spend the night.
What comes next? We aren't sure. But we will love every minute of him and pray he can legally join our family in time.
Ps 118:23 This is the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in His sight.
tears in my eyes. i pray you can keep him. <3
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