A tad behind

Each year I have a goal of writing a birthday letter to each boy.  I don't actually give them the letter. Odd, I know. But the goal is actually to chronicle their year for them so that when they are older, they have a year-by-year record of their lives.  I almost never actually get the letter written ON their birthday and then I fret about it until I have a few minutes to sit down and write it. After all, what if something happens to me and I owe the letter but haven't written it??!! 

So, its Oct. 7. Joseph's birthday is in 2 days and I haven't written Jonah's birthday letter.  Over a month late.  Yikes.  So, I just sat down and wrote it out. Oh, it has to be in my handwriting too. No typing.  

The year of 3-turning-4 is a great one. I find they begin to say the absolutely funniest things.  He has started this and I've not been as good about writing them down as I was with the others.  I guess thats the third child curse.  I've caught some of them on fb and can enjoy them over and over but there are many more that I've lost along the way. 

He has had a great year. He is a darling kid and we totally spoil him...which may make him less-than-darling pretty soon.  Yes, he has an occasional tantrum that earns a spanking but he is generally so agreeable and sweet spirited that its pretty hard to be tough with him.  Poor Jacob on the other hand. I think I'm too tough on him. Joseph is just in the middle doing his own thing and getting away with it, pretty much.  

We are in the heart of Fall baseball.  However, due to rain most games have been postponed.  This prolongs the season which can make a mama weary.  But with a really crazy travel schedule for Joe, I'm happy when a game is cancelled!

Ironically, its still Joseph who rocks our world with bizarre and randomly funny things like these:

"mom, to make a living I'm going to draw Foxtrot pictures and sell them for a buck."

(still dreaming of Yankees): "Mariano Rivera..it really WOULD be a pleasure to meet him...and I think his autograph would be worth something...he's been on the mound a long time"

"do you think autographs will be allowed in heaven? There are a lot I'll be wanting when I get there."

One evening at 10:30 when I caught him lying on the floor of his room painstakingly reading by the dim glow of his nightlight: "I can't help it, Mrs. Beatty has rekindled my love of reading!!"

 "mom, all I want for my birthday is to have a major league baseball player (say, Derek Jeter) come and you know, teach us some things. We'll have to postpone this until after the World Series so that he doesn't miss it." 

And yes, he wrote to invite them. Then wrote to Jeter and invited him directly. And is postponing any birthday celebrations until after the World Series, just in case.  He is still awaiting a response and I just don't know how to break it to him....

And one from Jonah:

Me: Jonah, I get a little sad when you leave me for school. 
Jonah: well...just go somewhere where people are so you don't get alone. 

 

Milestones

My baby is turning 4 this week.  This face: 

Not only is he turning 4, which I really can't wrap my mind around and really am not ready to accept, but he also started school this year.  This is strange since the other two didn't start until 7.  But our school needed some volunteer help that I am able to give and so we decided to enroll Jonah in their K4 class.  We love his teacher and I get to be at the school 3 days a week so I feel better knowing I'm literally around the corner from him.

He wore his Orioles hat to school.  Orioles, you ask? Why on earth? Well, a little friend at the ball field gave him an Orioles hat and now he has decided that they will be his team.  This further complicates our already divided household.  But, can you take that face right there?

He is one of 5 adorable little darlings. 

So, anyway, then there is mommy who is really TRYING to come to terms with the last of my babies not being a baby anymore.  I didn't really want there to be a last of my babies yet.  Yes, I'm kinda old now and Joe is, frankly, MORE old now and yes, my three keep me busy and yes, Joe still travels so I'm home with them alone a bit.  But, I'm still not able to take that crib down out of the guest room.  

This summer I managed to make some progress coming to terms with our end-of-babyhood with a big breakdown as I faced the reality (the same one thats been slapping my face for a year now) again that we are not adopting and we are not conceiving.  But, its a process and I'm not beating myself up over my occasional emotional backsliding. 

But, on the happy side of things, 4 is my favorite age.  Jonah is saying the most hilarious things every day.  These are the days, with my other two, where I was blogging daily with their sayings and questions and observations about life that are priceless.  Will I ever roll that well again, for poor Jonah's sake?  

The other day I told him I was sad that he is away from me while he is in school. His response was "well, get somewhere with people so you don't get alone."  Exceedingly sympathetic and practical, I thought.  Very proud. 

Joseph's obsession of the month is baseball and baseball cards.  He is utterly consumed by baseball statistics and I'd love for him to devour a good book (like he was doing last year at this time) like he does the box scores.  He has lost all interest in reading, something he couldn't get enough of last year.  Kind of a bummer but I hope its just a phase.  He adores his 3rd grade teacher (Mrs. Beatty rocks) and I think she'll spark his love of story again.   And, at least his obsession with Winter the Dolphin has passed. We were all weary of that one. 

Jacob was rather terrified of 5th grade and now that we are into the 3rd week of school, he has come to realize that his teacher was tricking them all. She isn't mean...like he thought. But she does require a lot of them...all reasonable...and he is getting his clock cleaned in his grades due to sloppiness.  We are about to embark on the bird and the bees talk.  He knows it and keeps running away when I tell him "its time to talk."  

So, I asked Jonah what he wanted to do with his friends on his birthday. "Swim. And eat meat." So we are having a carnivorous swimming party.  Should be fun! 

Another funny: During the Olympics opening ceremony, the video of John Lennon came on the screen and Jonah exclaimed: "Oh! Its Harry Potter growed up!"

Sleepaway Camp

So, yesterday Jacob left for his first sleep away camp. He'll be there until Friday evening.  The camp is only 35 minutes away and a long-standing baptist camp in the area.  There are 110 campers and he immediately saw boys he knew from town and is in a cabin with a few of them.  So, why did I panic last night??

What was I thinking? I'm not ready for this so surely he can't be! Wait! I didn't even ask what kind of security they have? Do they patrol at night? Is he safe? What?? Why did Joe tell me that he drove BY a correctional facility en route to the campsite??  Who is the crazy worried mother because it surely isn't me!  

He was very excited to go to camp until Saturday rolled around and we were packing his duffle bag. Suddenly the idea of being away hit him and he didn't want to go. He admitted, with shame, that he thought he'd miss me. Yea! He admitted it!  He was stoic as daddy drove him there and didn't really look very excited in the first evening's round of online parent-communicator photos.  I'm pretty sure he'll be fine.

Then Daddy begins to fret that we've given away a week of his life that we'll never get back. After all he is going to be exposed to pop Christianity lite, Americana style; be pressured to accept Jesus and pray the sinners prayer...each night; sing Jesus is my girlfriend songs rather than strong psalms and battle songs.  Oh what have we done? Is this the best we can send our son to?

Well, probably! I think he'll survive. I think he'll make good friends.  I think he'll learn verses he didn't know.  I think he'll be challenged.

But it has made us wonder if a camp is out there that dwells upon good Christian aesthetics while developing a boys' adventurer side.  If not, how can we start one?


Jonah line for the day, upon climbing into the bathtub and realizing I'd left a bra nearby, "Oh moooom, your woman's wear is in the way!"  New vocabulary.  Fun.

Joe was ordained as a deacon Sunday. We had Rev. Brito and his family for the weekend to do the ordaining.  He is the pastor of our sponsoring church all the way up in the Pan handle.  It was so so so lovely to have a wonderful minister to lead the service. Rev.  Brito's booming voice brought a level of enthusiasm to the service that was really delightful.  We sang so loudly at church and again at our house later that my voice is scratchy today.

Tomorrow, Joe accepts the nomination to become Chairman of the Board for Geneva Classical Academy.  He is excited about working with our new interim head master but there is much, much work to be done.  Boy, he has two really big new hats to wear.  Good thing I'm starting a book on prayer because I'll need to become more faithful to lift him up!

A recent photo of my silly boys.

Did I ever show you this one from New Year's? I call it Jonah's Horror at His White Brother's Attempt to be Hip.

Summer time

It seems I've developed an every-five month schedule to my writing.  Each time I regret the funny stories I've lost because I haven't kept up with my journaling.  Poor Jonah, classic third child with half the photos and half the memories recorded.

He is now rounding the bend and hitting the homestretch towards becoming 4. This is mingled with pride and sadness on my part.  He is my last baby and so each milestone is the last time we'll celebrate it for a while.  Just this week, his mouth began to form the L sound, which until now has come out like a W sound.  It is funny to watch his little tongue trip on it and spread each word out as he forms that sound. I love it and hate it.  Because I loved it when he told me he wuved me. He is growing up.

In another way, we are pushing him onward in ways we didn't with the other two.  He is starting K4 preschool in the Fall at Geneva so that I can volunteer there 3 days a week.  I'll be there in the same buildings with him and yet I feel like I'm sending him off so young (the other two were home until they were almost 7)

But exciting things are happening at our school and we are thrilled to be a part of it.  We've gotten a wonderful interim headmaster, a new facility and some great new teachers.

Joseph...oh, that kid goes through funny phases.  I often say Jacob is my heart baby and Joseph is my soul baby.  He thinks deeply (so deeply that he forgets half of what he is told within minutes because he is daydreaming) about things and enters in and out of deeply obsessive phases. Last year it was Dolphin Tale and Winter the dolphin. Now its baseball cards and all things Yankees.  Its hilarious how one-track his mind becomes.

Jacob is growing like a weed and wanting so badly to be grown up and then wanting so badly to be little.  He is going to sleep away camp for the first time this coming week and he is flying to NJ solo for the first time. He is excited beyond sleeping about NJ. But the reality of his departure for camp tomorrow afternoon has brought some hesitation. It'll be interesting to see how it goes.  He tends to chicken out of things when the time comes and if we succeed in pushing him past that fear, he ends up loving the thing he was so fearful of.

As usual, here are some of the funny things they've said recently:

Last week, Jacob moved part of nest that a bird built in our garage.  

"I didn't realize it was a nest until the bird flew back in and really gave me the stink eye!"




Jacob's morning pearl from a few days ago: ya know how Shakespeare said, "let me compare thee to a Summer's day"...well, I don't think you want to say that to anyone who loves in Florida!

"they're snug enough that they stay up but flexible enough that they don't nag" ...Jacob on the virtues of new underpants.


I often lament the starving people in North Korea because I recently read "Nothing to Envy" which I highly recommend. So my boys really hear it when they don't want to eat their dinner. This is some context for the following:

Joseph: "I'm so hungry I could eat as much as a starving Asian and TWICE as much as an Asian Minor!"


We met sweet new neighbors last month and we are really excited to get to know them. This sentiment was quadrupled when the boys learned that the Mr. has coached baseball for a long time and has a pitching machine! "Things are going to get fun around here!" - Joseph.
Because its been a real dud.


"But mom! When you shoot it, you feel so triumphant!"  Jacob, growing too fond of his Airsoft gun. 


Upon returning home from a dinner, Jacob reported to me that his handling of Jonah's bad attitude tonight entailed a graphic description of what happens when one lives a life of grumpiness "your skin wrinkles, you dry up, your hair falls out and then your toes fall off and then your nose and then..." etc.
Effective? Well, apparently it turned the grump to laughter and made the babysitter willing to return.


You know you are in for an interesting day when the first words uttered by your sweet, lovable 3-year old, upon waking are, "you wanna smell my armpit?"


Jonah: Watch out, mom! That truck will squash you like a pig!
Those figures of speech will getcha every time.




Jonah: "I love you a wittle bit, mom but I don't wike when your hair is falling down."
It's important to always be open to constructive criticism


Jonah: "wet's weave the brudders at school cuz they kiss and punch me."


Jacob " you know, mom, there is a LOT of debatement about Joan of Ark! I'm with the people who think she was a little cooky."


Jonah: "I wike hugs, mama. Saaweezen me tight!"


Me: "I'm so hungry I could eat a house." Jonah: "oh mudder! That would be yucky for you. Silly mom."


When Jonah is wanting something, he always says, "let's go to the pooter dot com!"


Jonah likes to tell us "we are losing time" when we are out and about and he wants to get back home.


Tucking Jonah in one night I said "let's pray for Daddy as we miss him tonight." He patted my cheek and said "oh honey, don't worry about it. He'll be home in two minutes."



As the big boys bickered over opening a window Jonah shouted, " just stop! If a spider bit you, you'd need a bandaid!"
Thankfully his random cry did bring a pause.


Dinner table randoms:

Jacob: "it's good to teach really little kids about Christ...in case they get kidnapped by a pagan family a little later...loving God will already be sunk in"

After this convo, my Joseph pipes in with his dinnertime thoughts: "yeah, I'm saving my money til I have a fortune. Like $5 or $11."


I called Jonah a goober. He told me I was a bigger goober but it came out 'gibber boober.' How long will this be a running joke in our house?




My happy 3 year old tries to score a juice box by claiming "it will feel me better!"


Joseph: "I disagree with Mrs. Smith on several cursive letter formings."

Joseph: "Mom, can we get some beverages?" Me: "beverages??" Him: "Yeah, it's a plural word."


As we were discussing whether we liked a particular breakfast joint nearby that is owned by Christians, Jacob's assessment: "well, I don't see how you can be Godly when you serve margarine..."


Things I learned today:

From Joseph: "Mom, did you know that Ben Franklin wanted our national bird to be the turkey instead of the bald eagle?" Me: "No, I didn't know that...must be because we're all a bunch of turkeys. haha." J, not getting my joke: "No...I'm pretty sure it was because turkeys taste better."

From Jacob: "There is no better way to butter a man up than to feed him a big, juicy steak." (upon hearing steaks were on the dinner menu because dad had invited one of his employees over for dinner)

OK, so its been a long time. I regret this greatly. But it took me this long to get the mood back. The mood to journal. This, too, I regret because I've missed many things I'll never get back. But that is ok. Forward, we move.

Yes, when the twin adoption fell through our fingers in November, I came onto blogger and deleted all the references to the babies and also lost a lot of good stuff too. I had to do that. Each sentence about them was just too embarrassing of a reminder that we'd been duped.

For months now I've said to myself that I ought to start over. After all, the only reason I ever blog is my own selfish goal of remember all the little things about my boys in their little years. I'm so glad I have those old posts from xanga to go through and laugh at now because you do indeed forget 80% of it.

So, here Jonah is almost 3 and a half and I feel I've cheated him, and us, because I haven't written down as much about him. He is at that glorious stage of imaginary play and hilarious questions and phrasing that goes by so quickly. I hope that starting today, I can record it.

Tonight after reading to the boys for about 45 minutes (during which, btw, Jonah was only half listening and half playing his own game which included patting me with a spiderman ice pack and saying 'hold still, honey' - a bit distracting during story time) and saying good night to them, I laid down in Jonah's bed with him for a bit. He immediately asked me for a story (I'm really really bad at making up stories but he doesn't care yet). I stumbled through a story of Jonah leading a battle. He then proceeded to tell me a story and it went on and on and on and on..until I drifted off to sleep! It also included Jonah on a battlefield but in his version he and his troops had an abundance of chocolate milk.

A delightful little thing he does right now is replace 'I' with 'my' in all sentences. May my have a cookie? My can do it by myself, etc. My will be a chocolate tree. Today he accompanied Joe and I to a short meeting at an office downtown. The man with whom we were meeting had a bowl of Tootsie Pops in Jonah's line of sight and temptation. Finally he asked, "can my have a wowwypop?"

Anyway, enough about him. For now.

The Lord has been sweet to grant us eyes to see good reasons for not bringing two babies into our family right now. Not that He wouldn't have given us the grace to get through; He surely would have. But it has allowed us to devote more attention to a couple other things. Joe is serving on the board of our school now and is hoping to be a good blessing to that board and really plug into serving the school. This is a challange with a job that takes him out of town quite a bit but he is determined to try.

But on a bigger scale, our church has begun to slowly but surely...grow! After two long and frustrating years of questioning whether we should have ever jumped into this endeaver and whether or not we should (personally) throw in the towel, the Lord has brought some new folks to bless us. Not that this is any guarantee that He plans to continue to truly plant a work here that will be a light in our town for generations to come, but we are learning to not despise the day of small beginnings indeed. Each time we've been ready to call it a day, the Lord has dangled a wee carrot in front of us to stay committed. We've been hugly blessed by a man who has provided steady pulpit supply over the last few months (while our pastor candidate search has waned on) and a young man with whom we've been friendly over the years here, has started to attend and tell all his friends. Add to that a couple others from town and a family who has moved here to join our church!

This has begun to translate into lovely fellowship after church. Suddenly on Sundays we are beginning to see the fruit of our desires over the past few years to have a festive and joyful Sabbath full of people, food, wine and song. For a long time its been three local families and a couple longer distance families loving each other and hanging tight and it is sweet to be able to welcome others into that fold. If there were two new babies in the house, I don't think it would be quite so easy to host 10-20 people on a weekly or semi-weekly basis.

So, although the sting of the adoption fail is still there, sting of feeling we were lied to and manipulated (although we'll never know if it was a scam all along or if she really did have a heart change at the end), there is a relief as well and a thankfulness that God allowed it all to happen for reasons we'll never know and somehow He was glorified through it, at least we pray thus.

Other things I learned today:

From Joseph: "Mom, did you know that Ben Franklin wanted our national bird to be the turkey instead of the bald eagle?" Me: "No, I didn't know that...must be because we're all a bunch of turkeys. haha." J, not getting my joke: "No...I'm pretty sure it was because turkeys taste better."

From Jacob: "There is no better way to butter a man up than to feed him a big, juicy steak!" (upon hearing steaks were on the dinner menu because dad had invited one of his employees over for dinner)